I’ll never forget sitting in my office late one night, staring at the glow of my computer screen, and realizing: I can’t keep doing this.
I was exhausted.
I was angry.
And I was questioning whether this company where I had poured 8 years of my life, now under new management, was going to support me going forward.
That’s the moment the voice in my head got louder:
Should I stay, or should I go?
For me, the breaking point came after being passed over for a big promotion. I had done the work. I had delivered results. I had mentored my 18 direct reports, only to watch one of my male colleagues, from another territory who had been at the company less time and had fewer wins, get the role.
The decision wasn’t just disappointing. It was clarifying. The culture was changing. The culture that recognized my talent and took me from an entry level to AVP was no longer advocating for female leadership.
I started asking myself questions women whisper to each other over coffee, but rarely say out loud in meetings:
- Am I being blocked because of my gender?
- Is this company ever going to reward me for my ambition?
- If I stay, am I selling myself short?
As I researched, I realized my story wasn’t unique. Women leave companies for reasons that aren’t about ambition but about exhaustion. We leave because:
- We’re not advancing. We get stuck mentoring, supporting, doing “invisible work” that isn’t rewarded.
- We’re in toxic cultures. The microaggressions, the dismissals, the constant need to prove ourselves wears us down.
- We’re underpaid. When you discover the guy in the next office is making 20% more, it’s hard to stay loyal.
- We’re burned out. Flexibility and support aren’t luxuries. They’re survival.
I had experienced every one of those factors. And yet… something made me pause.
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