It started with a tick.
After an early morning jog down along the beach, I noticed a small bite on my right forearm which soon turned into the classic Lyme bullseye rash. The onset of flu like symptoms and a quick visit to my physician confirmed that I had Lyme disease.
This was the beginning of three months in bed, barely able to move or think, and ongoing treatment with antibiotics from a team of infectious disease doctors.
I was so sick.
What complicates this story is that I was just promoted to a very visible prestigious position in my company leading new business venture.
Long story, short, after less than a month of my illness, they fired me.
If you’ve ever been blindsided by a setback at work, you know exactly how that moment feels.
You could argue that it wasn’t legal. That they should have put me on leave or offered an alternative solution. But the fact was that sick as I was, I now had no job to return to.
Yes, life sometimes knocks you flat.
I was angry but too sick to fight this, so I acquiesced. I retreated.
In the end, months later they rehired me for a lesser position, and I had to start all over again to prove myself, which I was determined to do….and did.
At the time, it felt humiliating.
I had gone from a prestigious leadership role to starting over in a lesser position at the same company that had fired me when I was sick.
I could have stayed angry.
I could have let the experience define me.
But eventually I realized something important:
The setback itself wasn’t going to determine what happened next.
My response would.
There’s a moment after every setback. When we start to rebound from the shock, from the embarrassment, and the anger calms down.
And it’s where everything changes.
Because when life knocks you down, you don’t control the hit.
But you do control the meaning.
And the meaning you assign will either empower you or paralyze you.
Your first reaction
As women, our normal reaction is to look inward first.
What did I do wrong?
Was I too direct? Too soft? Too ambitious? Not ambitious enough?
It’s our default reaction. But it’s important to note that though self-reflection can be powerful, self-blame is not.
At work, especially, the default reactions can often look like this:
- You speak less in meetings.
- You stop volunteering.
- You wait to be invited.
- You say yes when you mean no.
- You tolerate what bothers you.
These reactions can rob you of your power.
Read the full article on Substack.com
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