I received a phone call from Susan, who was looking for a coach to help her find a job. She has been out of work for 18 months and was ready to rejoin the workforce. She wanted some help with interviewing and promoting herself for employment.
“Fabulous,” I said. “I’m certain I can help you! Tell me, what do you do?”
There was no response. In fact, there was such a long silence that I actually thought we were disconnected.
Finally, she spoke. “This is my problem. I can’t talk about myself at all. I can’t articulate what I do, let along tell someone why they should hire me.”
Now, you may think this is an extreme case. But it’s not, especially for women. Research by Harvard Business School confirms that women hesitate to promote themselves and this reluctance sabotages their ability to get hired, get raises, and get promoted.
A 2019 study examined the comfort and propensity of women and men to promote themselves and their accomplishments. The findings showed that most women would rather minimize their successes than discuss them. The study surveyed 1,016 men and women 18 and older, and identified trends across these groups, including:
- 40% of women would rather quit social media for a week than talk about themselves in public
- 27% of women would prefer to visit the dentist than talk about themselves in public
The reasons women hesitate to self-promote are complicated and most likely are related to evolutionary and cultural reasons. Our upbringing as females often dictates that we must be humble and wait to be recognized. This is confusing when we are also told as ambitious women in the workplace that we need to advocate for ourselves.
Our hesitancy may also be due to fear of backlash, the desire to be liked, and our discomfort putting ourselves first, often attributing success to our team instead of our individual contributions.
Can you relate to this?
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