What triggers your anger at work?
Perhaps a male colleague talked over you (mansplaining?) or took credit for your idea. It happens a lot. Maybe you were passed over for a promotion you deserved. That happened to me. I was furious. Or it might be the many times you were excluded from important meetings, dismissed as irrelevant.
Honestly, the list of ways women are devalued, harassed, and sidelined goes on and on. These are experiences many women recognize.
In fact, they’re so common, we may have the tendency to normalize them. That’s just the way it is.
Most likely, our reaction is righteous anger. And when we feel that rage, we have a choice. Do we swallow it or do we risk expressing it in a work environment rigged against us?
The challenge?
If we choose to voice our concerns, our anger may be perceived by others as too emotional and unproductive. We may be penalized for speaking up, for opposing the status quo.
But what if we shift the focus from how, when, and whether we express our anger to why we’re angry in the first place? We begin to see anger not as an emotion to manage, but as a signal that something is wrong.
Our anger helps us recognize the things that we are no longer willing to tolerate.
There’s power in discovering you’re not alone
You’re furious. It’s natural that you want to vent, but you may not feel safe doing so. So you bitch to your female colleagues knowing some will listen and empathize, some have undoubtedly had similar experiences.
Your colleagues feel your pain. Perhaps they share their own stories. You feel validated. A bond is created. You support one another. You feel stronger as a collective force to advocate for more transparent advancement policies, equal pay, safe channels for raising complaints and concerns; all those unjust workplace practices that incited your ire.
Alone is scary. As a group, you not only feel safer, but together, you are more likely to be heard and taken seriously. You have power.
When we share our feelings with our female co-workers, we move from individual frustration to collective recognition. We discover that what we may have taken personally, or dismissed as an isolated experience, is actually part of a pattern of workplace behavior.
Rather than simply venting about unfair practices, together, women can identify the patterns, document their experiences, and develop a shared agenda for change. They can build consensus among colleagues, enlist influential sponsors, and bring specific recommendations to leadership. Existing employee resource groups can provide a starting point, or women can organize independently.
Read the full article on Substack.com.
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